Obsessions

Peter Pan

2006-03-19T08:07:00.000-08:00

Today I was watching Peter Pan. The movie, not the cartoon. It’s such a cute movie, that boy, I can’t remember his name but he’s just so adorable, his smile and his laughter are so cute, it’s like he’s always up to something. And when he convinces Wendy to go to Neverland with him who could say no to those eyes and smile, right? Anyway, it’s not just because of the boy that I like the movie. The scene when Peter gets kissed by Wendy near the end of the movie and gets him all purple and flying up in the air is just really romantic, at least I think so. The effect of a kiss. I wish that happened to me more often. Last time I had a kiss like that was with my last boyfriend who turned out to be a loser and a bad guy. And it also got me thinking about this really bad pattern in my life. I once had a guy completely in love with me back in high school. He was cute and I liked flirting with him, I actually liked him. But the minute we started going out it all lost its appeal for me. Where was the fun if I already had the guy, I thought then. Of course I was just 16, what did I know about love and relationships, right? Maybe with time, as I grew older I’d also grow wiser... didn’t happen. My first real boyfriend. I was 20 when we started going out. I never wanted to go out with him in the first place, he was more like a friend to me and I treated him as such, never encouraged him or anything. But my friends pressured me, saying he was such a great guy and liked me so much and blah, blah, blah. We went out, we kissed. Nothing. I felt absolutely nothing. Not then, not any time he kissed me. We were together for less than three months. It was a bad breakup and I came out the bad guy in the story and I don’t blame anyone for calling me so. I treated him like dirt and he didn’t deserve it, never. I value him now, I realize I was an ass for treating him the way I did, but I don’t wish we were back together, what I do wish is that we became friends again. But I don’t think that’s gonna happen, not after what I did to him after we broke up. I made out with a complete stranger right in front of him. This complete stranger became later my loser, bad boyfriend. The kiss was amazing, like Peter Pan amazing, but the relationship... we were together for 4 or 5 months, my record actually. He tried to get more out of me than what I was willing to give, there was tension and there was a break-up. I cried like I never thought I would cry or could cry. And in front of my mom too. I remember saying two days before he broke up with me (cause I knew he wanted to break up): "I don’t want him to break up with me, I love him." And I did love him. And I hated him later for treating me the way he did. This time I didn’t deserve it, but maybe I was paying for my wrong deeds, I don’t know. Starting to see the pattern? Well, listen to this now, you’re going to love this: I have a thing for my boss. He’s not handsome, and you have to really look at him to see something even cute in him, he’s not a nice guy, he’s conceited, sometimes arrogant and he likes to gloat about his work. He is a very talented guy, he does his work greatly and he really can boast about it, but it’s hard to stand a person who likes to brag about themselves most of the time. But he does have a real sexy voice. It’s grave and loud and I melt every time he calls my name, or nickname actually since everyone calls me by my nickname. He’s thirteen years older than me and I wish that was the problem. He’s got a woman, not a wife, he’s not married, but does have a partner for over ten years. They moved in together last year, they have no kids and from what I could witness so far he’s kind of a commitment phobic who really wishes no kids of his own. Now the kick: his partner, also my boss. They own the office together. But she’s such a bitch, like really a bitch. She’s not nice, really not outgoing, complains about anything and everything... I like flirting with him, I can’t help it, and I’ve caught him checking me out a few times, it makes me feel good when I see him looking at me. I’m insane, right? But I also think I’m leaving this job, not because of him, but because of my school schedule. I’m graduating in December so my hours are really crazy. But after 5 and a half years, who’s complaining, I’m rejoicing I’m leaving that hellhole they like to call University. I guess time does fly. I was talking to my brother about Peter Pan and he got all depressed about it. He asked me if it didn’t make me sad watching this kids’ movies and listening to songs we used to listen to when we were children. I’m almost 23 and he turns 22 in June so it’s been a while since we’ve heard kids’ songs or watched kids’ movies. Animation doesn’t count anymore, they’re almost made for adults these days and I wouldn’t exactly agree that Peter Pan is a kid’s movie, but it was a story we used to read about when we were kids and we saw the Disney cartoon of it. I guess it doesn’t make me sad, just nostalgic. I like remembering about school and uniforms and homework and playgrounds. Life was so much easier then. And we wished we’d grow up fast. I wish I thought more like Peter. Childhood is one of the best phases of a person’s life. The only responsibility most kids have is finishing their homework in time for supper. There’s nothing major to worry about. Even adolescence is not that easy, you have to worry about getting good grades at school so you can get into a good college, with a nice scholarship preferably. And adulthood? I won’t even bother. But I guess everything has a bright side. There are so many good things we experience during our teen years and our adult life. First kiss, first sexual experience, first paycheck, first apartment, graduating high school, graduating college, proms, college parties, getting a drink for yourself, getting drunk, buying things with your own money, going out by ourselves or with friends, watching Casablanca and not complain about it being black and white, acknowledging the value of classic rock and admitting that most music we hear today is just crap, anyway, just the good things in life. I suppose if we all wanted to be like Peter Pan and stay in Neverland forever we’d be missing on a whole lot, just like he did when he let Wendy go.

Thank yous

2005-06-08T05:12:00.000-07:00

For our next project in my Interior Design class we have to design a loft. And to do that we need to make up a profile for a couple. The professor wants us to make up a different couple, unusual, and give all the likes and dislikes, things they want in their home and things like that. I was writing mine last night. My guy is a 26-year old drummer for a alternative rock band. He’ll have a studio at home. The woman is 32 and is a History teacher at a local high school. She lived in Egypt for 10 years. They met in London. I’m having a lot of fun writing this, I like my couple, too bad that we’ll have to switch with another person in the class, we can’t design the loft for our own couple. But it’ll be fun anyways.
Also, I finally finished my first fanfic, Where The Heart Is. I was so angry that I couldn’t find the time to put it on the net, but then on Monday I got a few minutes free, so... I’ll get to the thank yous to my readers in just a bit, I just wanted to say how pathetic this is. I’ve been writing chapter five for my other story, How Soon Is Now?, for weeks now! I’ve been writing a little when I’m on the subway on my way home from work, but I still have to type everything. But I’m not done yet, it’s going to be a big chapter, definitely worth the wait, I promise! Now to the thank yous:
Jmarit17 - thank you so much! I’m glad I got you into the PDLD love hehe. Finn’s awesome! Yes, you still have my other fanfic and I apologize I haven’t updated in a while, but I will, most likely next week! Promise! Not really, but I’ll try... Anyway thank you very, very much for reading and I’ll talk to you later!
Poetic Angelica - Thank you, I’m happy you enjoyed the ending! But I won’t disappear, I’m already writing another PDLD and I want to write a Trory too, I just have to find the time. Anyway, thank again!
Coffee-addicted - Wow, thank you! I don’t even know what to say after that hehe, so thank you!
Honeyluv - that’s what I was going for, cute and sweet hehe. Yeah, I got the hint haha. I do want to write more, but if you read my previous post, you’ll understand why I’m not updating as often as I was used to. But don’t give up on me! I will write more! Thank you for reading!
Alicia Jo - oh, man I knew I had forgotten something! Well, let’s see... The Harvard guy broke up with Heather and since Logan didn’t want her back she decided to jump off a bridge! Does that make you happy? Haha Thank you for reading!
Problem Child1 - yes, shocking... I was actually torn with the whole Logan-Heather thing. When I first thought of it I was going to have the two end up together, but then as I developed the character a bit I started not to like her, and even though Logan was not my favorite character in the story, I thought he deserved better. And then everybody was saying how bad she was and everything, so I decided to end it in a way I thought she could act. Hope you weren’t too disappointed hehe. Anyway, thank you for all the sweet compliments! I’ll miss your crazy reviews! Not really, cause I still have my other story... if I ever update : / Anyway, thank you so much for reading! I’ll talk to you later!
Gilmoregirl - Thank you! Yes, I will try to update more often, maybe next week, I seriously will try! Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!
ReeseAnn - so, you enjoyed the ahem "action" eh? Haha Thank you so much for reading and reviewing all through the story, you were one of my faithful reviewers! So, yeah, thanks a lot! We’ll talk later!
Bookworms - oh, I’m so sorry I made you like Heather only to have her break Logan’s heart in the end hehe, didn’t mean to, it just sort of happened... I’m glad I won’t "get rid of you"! I love your reviews! They make my day! I’ll definitely go to work happy today! Oh, that’s life in Portuguese is "é a vida" very similar to Spanish, you’re right. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I hope you don’t Diaspora, you know updating your own story can be fun too!! Haha Thanks, dear!

First off

2005-06-06T20:40:00.000-07:00

So, probably not the best time to start a blog, I’m pretty pissed off today... but maybe it is. I started working as an intern at this architectural firm last week. And last week was the worst week at school, I had two projects to turn in, so since I leave work at 7 pm and get home at around 9, all week long I slept after 2 am. Then yesterday, yes, Sunday, they asked me to work since they had a few projects due tomorrow. I got there at 1 and only left at 7. Well, today I left the office after 8 and got home at 10. I missed Lost!! I’m angry, I forgot to ask my mother to tape it for me. I’m so depressed, I haven’t watched television at all since last week! I don’t know how long I’ll be able to go with this. And I’m only making 300 bucks a month! Not worth it!! And I haven’t had time to write, which is something I love. I have to finish my story, only one more chapter to go and I can’t find the time to post the stupid thing on the internet!
On a happier note, there’s this guy who I’ve been in love with my whole life, pretty pathetic actually. I’ve dated other guys, but I always seem to go back to this first one. This has been going on for 10 year! Told you it was pathetic! And the worst thing is we have never had anything, anything at all, not even one stupid little kiss! People don’t believe me when I say this, and my friend Suzana wants me to take action and just go out with the guy. He broke up with his girlfriend recently too... maybe she’s right, I just don’t want to seem too forward, not really my thing. And he’s younger than me too, two years to be exact. Seriously I don’t know what to do. I think I’ll do what I’ve always done: nothing. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn’t, well, I’ll just be in the same situation I am today...